in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Did I show you my penis last night?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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