woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
