the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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