she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
