To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
