you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
