Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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