Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
