...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She swung at the pinata with crutches
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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