just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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