can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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