funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
