just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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