Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
