Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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