Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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