is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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