...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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