yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
