Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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