I want you more than these girls want KFC
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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