oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
