Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
