He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
