I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
