guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
