I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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