Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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