This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
