I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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