At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You're like the curious george of whores
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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