It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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