what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
