My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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