He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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