I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
