butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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