i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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