Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
