Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Quick, to the slutcave!
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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