Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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