Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
