WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
