Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
