why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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