Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
