So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize