Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
