So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
