oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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