This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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