You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
