Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
