She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
