You're my little dorito
I CAN MOONWALK!
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize