She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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