Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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