Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
