honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
