laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
