the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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