so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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