I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
