When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
