This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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