Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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