He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Blood and glitter go together right?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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