i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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