thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
