I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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