apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
